Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
