Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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