never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
