We're facebook friends in real life
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
How external is "for external use only"?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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