bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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