Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
