why didn't you poke me back
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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