Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
