He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
