Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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