No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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