Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
