I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize