We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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