In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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