puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We smell like vodka and hangover
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