Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize