This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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