John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
