I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
