His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
