it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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