yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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