Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
