Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
