Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
