shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize