it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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