My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
