Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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