Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
