Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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