I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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