yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think your dad took our porno
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
