It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
