I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
