addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
