Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
