u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
