the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
