He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
