Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
so let's talk penis.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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