sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
