i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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