There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
