My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
