What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
