Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize