Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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