I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So much rum. So many feels.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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