As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
