I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You may now shotgun with the bride
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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