Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
