There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize