i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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