I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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