I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
