I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
