I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
