can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
